By Folarin Ademosu
Nigerians are quick to judge political events, and often show little wisdom in interpreting their outcomes. The insults some followers of the ballyhooed attack by Senator Dino Melaye on Senator Oluremi Tinubu during a Senate Executive Session are unwarranted. I repeat, unwarranted.
In fact, to use the beloved official description of our politicians: “it is unfortunate”. Insulting Melaye on such trivial matter is synonym of the cliché: “giving a dog a bad name in order to hang him”. A dog knows he is a dog, but must it be called its name to its face? No!
According to Melaye, “Senator Oluremi Tinubu called me a dog and a thug”. Come to think of it, what could Senator Tinubu have expected to happen after saying such?
Two things the female senator didn’t know, or probably took for granted, were the exact results she got.
Let’s look at the results to see whether Senator Melaye was wrong. One, Melaye was said to have charged at Senator Tinubu, allegedly wanting to beat her up. Two, he was alleged to have said he would impregnate her, only to suddenly realise she was not as “beautiful and robust” as Stella Oduah.
For good measure, Melaye added at a later press conference that Senator Tinubu was not biologically fit for his pregnancy donation because of her midlife menopausal situation.
“It is not biologically correct for me to impregnate her because she has attained menopause,” Melaye said.
It is no crime if Melaye, a graduate of Geography, thinks the divorced Oduah, at 54, is still fertile, and, Remi Tinubu, 56, isn’t. It is left for scientists to probe Melaye’s submission on his gynaecological postulation.
However, studies by Animal Scientists, nay, dog breeders, have shown without dispute that the natural response of the carnivore to intrusion is attack. If not by tearing at and biting, a dog will in the least bark at a trespasser. This, Senator Melaye did.
Secondly, a dog in its heat period is highly horny and cares less about its immediate environment. All a dog wants at such time is to copulate by mounting its target from behind. That much-liked sexual style called “doggy”.
How dare Mrs. Tinubu mistook a hunter’s dog for a Pit bull; for a hunter’s dog eat “shit” (excreta), and nowhere near the class of the latter. Doesn’t she know how expensive breeding a Pit bull is, especially one with multiple beads adorning its fat neck -a chieftaincy title-holding dog?
Why would Senator Tinubu call Dino Melaye a thug? Let’s face it, Mrs. Tinubu was wrong and committed fallacy of hasty generalisation. Her assertion is logically fallacious in every sense of the word. And, “we will not take this”, (to borrow the happy phrase of former minister Godsday Orubebe).
Does the Senate look like Ojota, or Oshodi motor parks to make Mrs. Tinubu call Melaye a thug? We will not take this, simple!
In fact, was Mrs. Tinubu dazed at the time she made her said comment and unable to differentiate Melaye from M.C Oluomo, the Lagos motor park lord? Even though Melaye has a fleet of automobiles, they are not painted in yellow colour and should not be mistaken for taxis.
Without prejudice to the “distinguished” motor park lord (M.C Oluomo), he still can’t be compared to a “distinguished” senator Melaye, though they share a name prefix.
A passionate appeal: Let Senator Melaye be, after all his best friend, Senate President Bukola Saraki is not complaining.
Any other insults against Melaye, we will not take this!