Ko Easy Lati J’Omobinrin By Pius Adesanmi.

Afi k’Oluwa ko wa yo.

Being a woman in Nigeria is no tea party.

Apostle Suleman has nothing to worry about. This. Is. Nigeria.

What happened to Ese Walter is not Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo. What happened to her is a lose-lose condition called being a woman in Nigeria. Ese stood no chance.

I read more about her physical assets from Nigerian men than I read about her ordeal when Pastor Fatoyinbo elected to take her to the next level of grace.

Then female devotees of Pastor Fatoyinbo went after her like the demons that Christ had just ordered out of the Gerasene demoniac. They never forgave her for trying to “bring down Pastor”.

Female devotees of Nigeria’s 21st-century, tithe-millionaire, jet-setting Pastors tend to forgive and excuse anything Pastor does and reserve their rage and ire for any sister of theirs who “tries to bring Pastor down.” It is never Pastor’s fault.

They went after Ese.

The majority of those who unfriended me as we kept putting up updates and writing essays to call the COZA Pastor to account were his female devotees. The majority of those who sent me prurient inbox messages were his female devotees. Tell them about Ese, they don’t want to hear!

To this day, Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo has not given his promised “robust response” to Ese’s allegations. If you understand Nigeria, just give anything time…

Now there is Apostle Suleman!

And there is Stephanie Otobo!

I am already hearing about her boobs and personal assets from the male commentariat…

Soon, the female devotees of Apostle Suleman will descend on her like a ton of bricks. It will be her fault.

Pastor Fatoyinbo came out of Esegate to preach “the Covenant of Wealth.”

Apostle Suleman may come out of Otobogate to announce a new private jet.

All the press reports say that Ms. Stepahnie Otobo was hounded, grabbed, harassed, and arrested by the police.

Watch out for the verb when the police eventually needs to hear from Apostle Suleman.

The verb will be: “to invite”! Police invites Apostle Suleman…

With men interested in your victimized boobs
With female devotees of your aggressor tearing you apart
With police arresting women and inviting men in such circumstances

Walahi, ko easy lati j’omobinrin!

Now All Eyes On Nigeria, By Dele Momodu

Screenshot_2017-03-04-06-09-50-1Fellow Nigerians, when I wrote my article last Saturday little did I envisage I was going to stir the hornets’ nests.
And the bees came after me in droves though they couldn’t sting before they were sent back to wherever they came from. What was my offence? I wrote a piece that some people thought gave too much credit to the leadership style of Acting President, Professor Yemi Osinbajo. In retrospect, I’m convinced that my attackers did not read the article and if they did, they had a pre-determined motive to find a scapegoat to hang in order to discourage others who may wish to do a seeming hagiography on Osinbajo. I fitted that bill, apparently, and perfectly. But, trust me, they misfired.
I was only being patriotic. I have been to the Aso Rock Presidential villa twice but I have never visited the office of the Vice President. I have never properly spoken to Prof Osinbajo directly, indirectly or even through proxies since he became Vice President. I met him once at a chaotic ceremony in Lagos and we merely exchanged greetings. I have never called his media aide, Laolu Akande, who was once the North American Bureau Chief of Ovation International, to discuss their performance or otherwise.
My first visit was at the instance and invitation of President Muhammadu Buhari himself. And I was very candid and told the President how I had advised the former President, Dr Goodluck Jonathan for five solid years but to no avail. I gave President Buhari a compilation of my articles during the Jonathan era. I promised to continue in the same fashion under his tenure. And that is what I have been doing.
I have never disrespected the office of our President. He never told me not to criticise him. In fact, I owe him the truth and nothing but the truth, as a stakeholder in the presidential campaign that catapulted him back to power after 30 years of being forced out of power. I never knew we were expected to dissect the government of Jonathan but not that of Buhari. I’m very sorry to disappoint those who apotheosise our President and do not expect anyone to tell him the gospel truth.
I love and admire Buhari but he needs to know what Nigerians are feeling and saying on the streets. I’m proud to be on record as writing to him and advising him regularly in my column. If he fails, I fail. If he succeeds, I would have succeeded. It is preposterous to blackmail any critic as someone seeking government appointment. My mission could not be further away. I believe I can do a lot from outside as much as I can do from inside. There is therefore no need for me to critic the Government simply on account of personal gain.
Let me therefore allay the fears of government bigots who attach conspiracy theories to every action of a critic, I’m not seeking any government appointment. I’m of the firm belief that no self-respecting soul should beg to serve his country. It should be strictly on merit. And I don’t see any logic in the ridiculous argument that critics of government want something from government. Those who want something would rather be in the good books of government. The procedure is simple. You must jump like a frog from one party to the other. You must grovel before the godfathers. I’m happy to be adequately engaged and grateful to God for my modest life. My dream is to witness a greater and better Nigeria. I do not have to be in government to make my humble contribution. I write out of love and not out of hating those God has favoured with authority. My writing is didactic and never acerbic. I do not write to destroy. I write to build. Our country needs those who can stare power in the face and say what may not be too palatable to the powerhouse, but say it with decorum.
There is nothing I wrote that is not being discussed everywhere today. The internet is awash with tales about Nigeria and the medical vacation of our President in London. I believe we can determine the narrative and navigate it in the right direction. Making a fetish of our President’s ailment is ridiculous. It means we’ve learnt no lesson from our recent past and contemporary history. It is not a crime to fall sick. We all do every now and then.
Our President is the butt of jokes because some of those who should protect him are busy denying the obvious and concocting tales by moonlight to give the impression that all is well. We should know that even if we stick to such tradition at home, the foreign media would never imbibe such archaic culture.
As I keep saying, modern day governance requires the President to make a clean breast of his ailment and provide regular updates about his progress. For one thing, this medical treatment is not private, it is state-sponsored. Secondly, every Nigerian deserves to know what is wrong with our President. It is sad and distressing that most of those in the know are foreigners responsible for his treatment. That is neo-colonialism in another guise.
As if to corroborate my position in last week’s simple and straight-forward epistle, the world media is agog with stories on Nigeria. And for the first time in a long while, Nigeria is beginning to smell like roses. Everyone agrees that something positive is beginning to happen in Nigeria and it calls for a celebration and encouragement. Why should anyone take offence that Nigeria is enjoying rave reviews. Reuters, The Economist, Bloomberg, Financial Times, Al Jazeera, BBC, and others are all focussing attention on Nigeria and asking questions about what exactly is happening to our President Muhammadu Buhari that has kept him away from home for so long. While worrying about his supposed ailment, they still found something to cheer in the emergence, conduct and composure of his deputy who is now in charge as Acting President.
There is no doubt that Osinbajo has been very calm and composed and methodical in his approach to governance. Nigerians in unison seem to agree that they want this new style to continue when President Buhari returns. In their paranoia, some of Buhari’s acolytes see the praise of Osinbajo as an indictment of Buhari’s style which many have complained about as being too slow, rigid and overtly combative. The palpable tension in the land is disappearing and there is a new flow of camaraderie between various arms of governments at all levels.
Osinbajo, soon to be 60 next week, is displaying his agility, dexterity in fast-paced fashion and reaching out to all Nigerians in a bid to fostering unity amongst a perpetually warring people. Nothing demonstrates this new found cooperation than the blistering and blitzkrieg visits of Osinbajo to communities that once felt ostracised and discriminated against in the past. Just imagine an Acting President of Nigeria, from the ruling party of APC, walking with so much confidence and panache on the streets of Uyo in Akwa Ibom, a PDP enclave. It looked surreal.
The Nigerian economy has suffered miserably from the massive shortfall in oil production that reduced the oil-flow and our national income. Osinbajo knew what to do and did not shy away from it. He reached out to the angry and vengeful militants who felt short-changed assaulted and insulted by the Nigerian oligarchy. This is not the time for frivolous arrogance or war-war. What Nigeria needs immediately and urgently is a modicum of modesty to massage the ego of the warlords who are willing, ready and able to bring Nigeria to a halt.
He is also reaching out to members of the private sector. He understands and can speak their language. They feel at ease in his presence. He has engaged the military chiefs in his capacity as Acting Commander-in-Chief. He is representing his boss well and President Buhari must be very proud of the man he chose as his Vice President.
There is nothing to worry about by those who think we are trying to over-praise Osinbajo. That is not our intention. As I clearly explained last week, the team is one, but the style of Osinbajo is just refreshingly different and ostensibly more effective. That should not be a surprise to anyone. Osinbajo is a much younger man. As I noted earlier, he will celebrate his 60th birthday in a matter of days. He is a distinguished scholar who has worked globally. He has worked in government as Attorney General of Nigeria’s wealthiest State, Lagos, regarded as the California of Africa. He is therefore very current. President Buhari’s appeal rested in his anti-corruption credentials and his ascetic discipline that we’ve all come to appreciate and admire. But it seems the style that worked relatively well for him between 1984-85 is no longer valid at this time and age. There is a world of difference between dictatorship and democracy. Fighting corruption is also more difficult in party politics.
There is no way to arrest corrupt people and not touch some of the kingmakers who made it possible for you to attain power. To harass your benefactors is to be labelled an ingrate and ingratitude is a major sin even in the holy books. It must be so frustrating for a very honest leader like Buhari to find himself in the company of artful dodgers. While EFCC struggles and works hard to catch thieves, the agency has to be careful not to step on some fat toes. We are all human, after-all. There is no way Buhari/Osinbajo would be in power today without the avuncular support of some heavy spenders. Political campaign is no kids’ play anywhere. It is virtually a game of gamblers.
I elaborated well on this agonising reality in some of my memos to the President which some political neophytes described as protecting corrupt people. Buhari started on a war-war note and went after some of his own party members who worked assiduously to fund his campaign. Till this day, I doubt if there has been a landmark conviction of any major culprit. In what must have been as a result of acute frustration, the President went after some Judges who were considered corrupt and a cog in the wheels of obtaining fair justice against corrupt politicians and civil servants. Even that seemed to have meandered into a cul de sac.
Head or tail, Nigeria is a very complicated nation with a convoluted configuration. But for now, something is shifting and we should embrace this positive development with both hands. This Presidential Team is beginning to look like a divine one. Let no one put the team asunder.

Andrew Yakubu: A Billionaire Among Paupers, By Dogo S Nok

As people of Southern Kaduna struggle to recover from the multi-billion dollar shock and embarrassment that Andrew Yakubu assaulted them with by stashing such stupendous wealth in the midst of the poverty and squalor of his brethren, we must come to terms with the reality of stark greed and selfishness of our elite and potential political leaders. When Andrew Yakubu was appointed to the most lucrative GMD position in the country, most of us were proud that our son had successfully connected us to the mainstream of government recognition and patronage.

Today, at the peak of ravaging recession we ponder with disbelief and disgust the self-aggrandizement that dashed our expectations of communal empowerment even as Andrew Yakubu is now heartlessly sponsoring dollarized propaganda that his well-deserved travails are nothing but ethnic victimization of the people of Southern Kaduna! If the flabbergasted commoners of Sabon Tasha are demanding not only the dollars but also the head of Andrew Yakubu for making an expensive mockery of their ghetto environment as a classical camouflage for concealing his sensational spoils of office, how can people of southern Kaduna suffer the insult of becoming his mercenaries in addition to the injury of being short-changed or rather duped by their own son?

For the avoidance of doubt, the people of southern Kaduna are not known to be ingrates wherever they have been. We have always rallied round our public-spirited compatriots in appreciation of their evident tangible contributions to bettering the lot of our struggling communities. Andrew Yakubu was only a momentary star of southern Kaduna people, taking the shine from his prized appointment but leaving his euphoric kinsmen in the dark shadows of selfish abandonment. Ever since his uncomplimentary ejection from office, he has withdrawn into an isolated cocoon of close relatives practically deleting himself from the collective memory of his kinsmen in southern Kaduna.

The sudden exposure of his staggering stacks of dollars and pounds conservatively worth more than four billion naira, cunningly concealed in the desolate heart of a Kaduna slum, was therefore a tearful testimony to the accumulative acumen of Andrew Yakubu in self-service and his disdain for charitable endeavors. For someone who was NNPC GMD for only two years and left office almost four years ago to still be in possession of 9.8 million dollars cash “gift” is a pointer to the humongous amount he must have cornered as well as his superlative stinginess. Not even one employment opportunity or one culvert has been attributed to Andrew Yakubu despite his inestimable wealth!

Rather than turning into his ethnic solicitors and advocates now that he has been forced by personal hazard to realize the value of his kith and kin across Kaduna State, Andrew Yakubu should be left to stew in his own pot if only to serve as a life lesson to him and a deterrent to his elite colleagues in and beyond southern Kaduna against abuse of office and neglect of their people and area of origin. At least we southern Kaduna people are living witnesses to the sins of our selfish son, which cannot and should not be politicized against the laudable and highly effective unprecedented war against corruption waged by the indefatigable President Buhari and his corrective administration. The anti-corruption crusade has so far claimed prominent sons and daughters from all the geo-political zones of Nigeria with no particular sacred cow or no go area. More importantly, “our man” Andrew Yakubu was caught with his cache of pounds and dollars in broad daylight and he has also claimed ownership without remorse, so where is the so-called ethnic persecution his propagandists are spinning?

As an indigene of southern Kaduna, I am at pains when I reflect that we have the largest number of unemployed youths that have passed secondary school in Kaduna state. I am at pains that most of these children of the poor are being misled into believing that the Hausa Fulani are responsible for their predicament. I am more of pains when I read some jobbers claiming ethnic and religious sentiments are behind the Andrew loot scandal especially when I know the first victim of Buhari anti-corruption war is Sambo Dasuki – a Muslim, a Fulani, an aristocrat of the caliphate. Are we saying our faiths and our culture encourage corruption and abuse of trust?

President Buhari should just fire full cylinders in pursuit and prosecution of as many thieving serving and former top government officials and politicians as his anti-corruption drive smokes out. He definitely has the support and commendation of the generality of common people across southern Kaduna who are actually angered by the Andrew Yakubu episode as it highlights the scale of diversion of commonwealth and deception of the masses being perpetrated by greedy and selfish elites supposedly representing their people in government.

As far as the masses are concerned all the noise about ethnic and religious agenda in the on-going successful onslaught on corruption by the Buhari Administration is nothing but the futile efforts of the cabal of corrupt people to fight back and retard the impact of the crusade. More culprits should be brought to book if necessary by establishing special courts that will be insulated from the time-wasting tactics of well-paid lawyers and corrupt judges currently delaying dispensation of justice.

Nok is a youth leader in Kafanchan, Kaduna State.

 

Pius Adesanmi: The Face Of A Loyal Friend

By Bamidele Ademola-Olateju

Some friends extend the frontiers of friendship and remake genetics. This category of friends know who you really are. They can predict you with alarming accuracy. They complete your sentences and they read you like a book. Year in, year out, I have brought Pius to you the way he is, outside the scholarly, Professorial circle. Yearly, I bring to you the ordinary Pius. The man who wears the indigo plumes of Agbe (Greater Blue-eyed Glossy Starling – lamprotonis chalybaus), the camwood plumes of Àlùkò (Carmine Bee-eater – merops nubicus), the crimson plumes of Odíderé (Africa Grey Parrot – psittacus erithacus) tail feathers and the unstained white plumes of Lékelèké (Cow Egret – areola ibis) without any contradiction. Happy birthday to you, my dear friend. A proud Isanlu son, a reverberating voice in Yoruba cultural rediviva, a pride to Nigeria and a beacon in Africa literary scene and in contemporary cultural renaissance.

To me, you are the face of loyalty, your loyalty to me is unquestionable! For that and many more of your attributes, I’m grateful for the gift of your birth. Long may you live in good health and in service to all.

P.S I tried conveying the expression identity of those Yoruba words. I hope my English readers can relate.

R For Respect, R For Resignation, By Pius Adesanmi

Recently, Justin Trudeau was in the province of Quebec for a townhall meeting with citizens. He has been holding townhalls across Canada. An Anglophone Quebecois woman asked him a question in English, he responded in French saying he preferred to respond in the official language of the province.

Although French is the language of Quebec, there is an Anglophone minority in that province. English and French being the two official languages of Canada, the Anglophone minority woman deserved to have her question answered in English.

The national outrage was swift and major. The Prime Minister was condemned everywhere. Such was the intensity of the nationwide condemnations of the Prime Minister that I almost exclaimed Yorunigerianly: “ki ni Trudeau gbe ki ni won ju gan sef?”

Why were Canadians so aghast? It was said that the Prime Minister had disrespected a citizen. And by disrespecting a citizen, he had disrespected his office.

Trudeau has since been writing profuse letters of apology. He has apologized to the woman in question. He has apologized to Quebec Anglophones. He has apologized to Canadians.

Yesterday, I read another apology and nearly exclaimed, again Yorunigerianly: “wo, ogbeni yi ma f’idobale pa wa jare.”

I intend to draw heavy conclusions from this situation in the light of ongoing scenarios with President Buhari in Nigeria, sorry, in London.

I have been intrigued by the idea that respect for the highest office in the land starts with the occupant of the said office. I have been intrigued by the fact that Canadians are saying that respect for the said office and respect for the citizen are two indissociable elements of the political lifeworlds we refer to as statehood and nationhood.

In other words, as Prime Minister or President of a country, respect for your office – the highest office in the land – starts with you. To respect your office, you must start by respecting your employer – the citizen.

When these two fundamental prerequisites are met, a powerful symbolism emerges which automatically makes the people respect your office. For it to be respected, the highest office in the land must first be made respectable by the occupant.

From Obasanjo to Jonathan via Yar’Adua, I have written treatises on the Nigerian presidency. The most enduring of my reflections on that branch of the Nigerian state is, I believe, my essay, “Why the Nigerian Presidency is not Respectable.”

I wrote that essay in 2012. Its salience has returned to me as aides and supporters of President Buhari have intensified the familiar and sanctimonious calls we’ve been through with every President since 1999: “respect the office of the President!”

I call this category of compatriots Citizen Abobaku. We took civics to Citizen Abobaku during the respective tenures of President Buhari’s successors. I am afraid we must continue that task of civic engagement of Citizen Abobaku today.

The first thing to note is that throughout our recent experience with democracy, whenever Citizen Abobaku has been at his loudest, condemning his compatriots for not respecting the office of the President, it means he has run out of excuses, rationalizations, and justification of the incumbent President who disrespects that very office by: 1) continuously disrespecting the citizens, his employers; 2) reneging on campaign promises or failing to fulfill them.

Calls for respect also means that Citizen Abobaku has never really learnt to separate Nigeria from the person and body of the incumbent President he supports.

If we witnessed this scenarios with every President since Obasanjo, it has been raised to a level worthy of a Nobel Prize by President Buhari, his administration, and Citizen Abobaku who has been all over the airwaves taking umbrage at compatriots insisting on their right to be respected by President Buhari and his handlers.

If Citizen Canadian insisted on and got an apology from the Prime Minister for answering a question in the wrong language, can you imagine what would happen if this Prime Minister, knowing that he was ill and going to take care of his health in another country, wrote a letter to Parliament asking for a rest and recreation leave abroad instead? It would have led to so many problems at so many levels.

First would be the problem of not trusting the national health facilities under his supervision in Canada and going off to another country’s health facilities. Second would be the problem of who exactly is paying for the health safari. Third would be the most serious problem of all: lying to your country’s parliament to conceal the real reason and purpose of your trip. That is lying to the people. That is disrespecting the citizen. That is disrespecting the office of the President – the very office you occupy. Any single one of these itemized problems is an impeachable offence.

A combination of all of them would create not just impeachment but possible investigation and prosecution – in serious democracies. Ask our friend, Sarkozy in France. The former President is now facing prosecution for concealing certain aspects of the disbursement of his campaign funds. He is on trial for more than corruption. He is on trial for disrespecting the office he occupied and disrespecting the citizen through concealment of his activities.

Because Nigeria is never satisfied with little absurdities, the National Assembly decided that President Buhari would not outdo them in disrespecting his office and the citizen. The Senate President and the House Speaker took off to London to visit the President. They reported him hale and hearty.

Before the London trip, the Senate President also twitted vociferously about his telephone conversations with a “hale and hearty” President Buhari. Then he returned from London and read a letter from the President to the Senate asking for an extension of the President’s extended tenure in London on medical grounds.

On Twitter, spokespersons of the Presidency have been at their arrogant best, raining insults daily on citizens who dare to insist on respect. I did not want to dignify the utterly silly Femi Adesina with a mention in this treatise but he is inescapable. In tweet after tweet, he has been calling his boss’s employers – Nigerian citizens – unprintable names. He says they prefer to embrace lies no matter how many times he confronts them with the truth.

Yet, his television appearances are an ode to shallowness and incoherence. He is never able to get his facts straight. Who exactly is he talking to in London? He will begin to dance kokoma and palongo around that question. I don’t blame him. He understands fully well that he is operating in an environment where power overwhelms and there is not enough civic consciousness to engage him.

Citizen Abobaku is always in line, screaming that the people must “respect the office of the President” by unquestioningly accepting the latest stomach-churning incoherent verbiage coming from Aso Rock.

This maxim needs to be translated into every Nigerian language: respect for the office of the President starts with the President, not with you. It starts with everybody he appoints in the Presidency to help him serve you as citizen. And the first requirement of respecting their office is to respect you.

The entire situation of President Buhari’s trip to and stay in London is an epic of disrespect for the Nigerian citizen. Apart from the original grand deception (for which the President deserves impeachment as far as I am concerned), every aspect of the trip has been handled as if the dissemination of information to Nigerian citizens were a privilege.

Lai Mohammed – bless his soul! – even opined that the President is a victim of his own forthrightness. Translation Nigeriana: it is not you people’s fault that you feel entitled to information about the President. Shebi it is the President himself who on reaching London initially let you know that he is seeing his doctors. Na una fault?

When Lai Mohammed and Femi Adesina are in a mode so contemptuous of citizens and they enjoy a drumbeat of support from a large fragment of their victims, how does one even begin to teach such citizens that they are owed daily press briefings on the President’s condition by the Presidency? How does one teach such people that they are owed regular briefings by President Buhari’s Nigerian doctors who would have conferred and coordinated things with his medical team in London before holding such briefings in Abuja? The citizen is entitled to these things. It is not a privilege.

R stands for more than respect. R also stands for resignation whenever you understand that you are no longer in the position to carry out the solemn responsibilities of any office, especially the highest office in the land.

In Nigeria, resignation from office is a taboo word. Mention resignation and the supporters, political, religious, and ethnic “owners” of the concerned public official enter into a demented public orgy, screaming and foaming. A Nigerian can pardon rape. A Nigerian can pardon genocide. A Nigerian will never pardon you if you so much as hint the resignation from office of a politician he supports.

One of the many untenable reasons he is going to mobilize against resignation is – you guessed right – the need to respect the office in question. This is why we need more diligent workers in the national civics enterprise. We need to decriminalize resignation in the national imaginary of our people. The idea that it is unthinkable for my man to resign from office gave us Yar’Adua. It gave us Danbaba Suntai in Taraba.

I am not saying that President Buhari is anywhere near these circumstances. However, there are 180 million lives at stake. Those lives do not live in Femi Adesina’s alternative universe of milk and honey all over Nigeria. A state is always more important than any single citizen and that includes the President. One month away, poorly handled, is enough ground for resignation especially if there is no telling how exactly you would be able to handle compound problems on your return: the economy, insecurity, Fulani herdsmen, etc.

Resignation is not leprosy. Resignation is not a crime. In certain cases, it is a moral obligation, an ethical one. Where there is a conscience, it is a decision to be taken in loneliness, away from heehawing opportunists capable of convincing Sigidi that he can swim successfully across the river Niger. Sometimes, resignation is the only way to respect one’s country and one’s compatriots. Sometimes, resignation is the only way to enter history in a grand fashion.

President Buhari, take a measure of your conscience. If you know that even in the best of health, you are overwhelmed, go ahead and resign without listening to the fawning voices around you. Many of your overwhelmed predecessors had a chance to resign. None did because they were admired into perdition and ignominy.

The other day, I heard Femi Adesina saying that it’s still early days for you. You are just in year two of a four-year tenure and you have two more years to deliver miracle. Silly talk like this is what I call admiring one’s boss to perdition and ignominy. Sadly, the majority of your support base speaks like this. That is not how it works. You don’t really have any time left.

Perhaps many in your support base cannot tolerate the idea of your resignation because they fear the chest-beating reaction of the Lilliputian promoters of the corrupt era of your immediate predecessor who are still prosecuting the 2015 election. That is why they can’t even criticize you for not only not prosecuting the anti-corruption war properly but for also harboring your own clan of corrupt aides and associates. That is a shame because it puts such people in your support base in the same infantilist and puny partisan boat as the promoters of the last order.

Anybody who sees Nigeria above such clowning partisan pettiness should be able to give you the advice I have offered you here: respect your office by resigning if you know you can’t go on.

for Respect, R for Resignation

By Pius Adesanmi

Recently, Justin Trudeau was in the province of Quebec for a townhall meeting with citizens. He has been holding townhalls across Canada. An Anglophone Quebecois woman asked him a question in English, he responded in French saying he preferred to respond in the official language of the province.

Although French is the language of Quebec, there is an Anglophone minority in that province. English and French being the two official languages of Canada, the Anglophone minority woman deserved to have her question answered in English.

The national outrage was swift and major. The Prime Minister was condemned everywhere. Such was the intensity of the nationwide condemnations of the Prime Minister that I almost exclaimed Yorunigerianly: “ki ni Trudeau gbe ki ni won ju gan sef?”

Why were Canadians so aghast? It was said that the Prime Minister had disrespected a citizen. And by disrespecting a citizen, he had disrespected his office.

Trudeau has since been writing profuse letters of apology. He has apologized to the woman in question. He has apologized to Quebec Anglophones. He has apologized to Canadians.

Yesterday, I read another apology and nearly exclaimed, again Yorunigerianly: “wo, ogbeni yi ma f’idobale pa wa jare.”

I intend to draw heavy conclusions from this situation in the light of ongoing scenarios with President Buhari in Nigeria, sorry, in London.

I have been intrigued by the idea that respect for the highest office in the land starts with the occupant of the said office. I have been intrigued by the fact that Canadians are saying that respect for the said office and respect for the citizen are two indissociable elements of the political lifeworlds we refer to as statehood and nationhood.

In other words, as Prime Minister or President of a country, respect for your office – the highest office in the land – starts with you. To respect your office, you must start by respecting your employer – the citizen.

When these two fundamental prerequisites are met, a powerful symbolism emerges which automatically makes the people respect your office. For it to be respected, the highest office in the land must first be made respectable by the occupant.

From Obasanjo to Jonathan via Yar’Adua, I have written treatises on the Nigerian presidency. The most enduring of my reflections on that branch of the Nigerian state is, I believe, my essay, “Why the Nigerian Presidency is not Respectable.”

I wrote that essay in 2012. Its salience has returned to me as aides and supporters of President Buhari have intensified the familiar and sanctimonious calls we’ve been through with every President since 1999: “respect the office of the President!”

I call this category of compatriots Citizen Abobaku. We took civics to Citizen Abobaku during the respective tenures of President Buhari’s successors. I am afraid we must continue that task of civic engagement of Citizen Abobaku today.

The first thing to note is that throughout our recent experience with democracy, whenever Citizen Abobaku has been at his loudest, condemning his compatriots for not respecting the office of the President, it means he has run out of excuses, rationalizations, and justification of the incumbent President who disrespects that very office by: 1) continuously disrespecting the citizens, his employers; 2) reneging on campaign promises or failing to fulfill them.

Calls for respect also means that Citizen Abobaku has never really learnt to separate Nigeria from the person and body of the incumbent President he supports.

If we witnessed this scenarios with every President since Obasanjo, it has been raised to a level worthy of a Nobel Prize by President Buhari, his administration, and Citizen Abobaku who has been all over the airwaves taking umbrage at compatriots insisting on their right to be respected by President Buhari and his handlers.

If Citizen Canadian insisted on and got an apology from the Prime Minister for answering a question in the wrong language, can you imagine what would happen if this Prime Minister, knowing that he was ill and going to take care of his health in another country, wrote a letter to Parliament asking for a rest and recreation leave abroad instead? It would have led to so many problems at so many levels.

First would be the problem of not trusting the national health facilities under his supervision in Canada and going off to another country’s health facilities. Second would be the problem of who exactly is paying for the health safari. Third would be the most serious problem of all: lying to your country’s parliament to conceal the real reason and purpose of your trip. That is lying to the people. That is disrespecting the citizen. That is disrespecting the office of the President – the very office you occupy. Any single one of these itemized problems is an impeachable offence.

A combination of all of them would create not just impeachment but possible investigation and prosecution – in serious democracies. Ask our friend, Sarkozy in France. The former President is now facing prosecution for concealing certain aspects of the disbursement of his campaign funds. He is on trial for more than corruption. He is on trial for disrespecting the office he occupied and disrespecting the citizen through concealment of his activities.

Because Nigeria is never satisfied with little absurdities, the National Assembly decided that President Buhari would not outdo them in disrespecting his office and the citizen. The Senate President and the House Speaker took off to London to visit the President. They reported him hale and hearty.

Before the London trip, the Senate President also twitted vociferously about his telephone conversations with a “hale and hearty” President Buhari. Then he returned from London and read a letter from the President to the Senate asking for an extension of the President’s extended tenure in London on medical grounds.

On Twitter, spokespersons of the Presidency have been at their arrogant best, raining insults daily on citizens who dare to insist on respect. I did not want to dignify the utterly silly Femi Adesina with a mention in this treatise but he is inescapable. In tweet after tweet, he has been calling his boss’s employers – Nigerian citizens – unprintable names. He says they prefer to embrace lies no matter how many times he confronts them with the truth.

Yet, his television appearances are an ode to shallowness and incoherence. He is never able to get his facts straight. Who exactly is he talking to in London? He will begin to dance kokoma and palongo around that question. I don’t blame him. He understands fully well that he is operating in an environment where power overwhelms and there is not enough civic consciousness to engage him.

Citizen Abobaku is always in line, screaming that the people must “respect the office of the President” by unquestioningly accepting the latest stomach-churning incoherent verbiage coming from Aso Rock.

This maxim needs to be translated into every Nigerian language: respect for the office of the President starts with the President, not with you. It starts with everybody he appoints in the Presidency to help him serve you as citizen. And the first requirement of respecting their office is to respect you.

The entire situation of President Buhari’s trip to and stay in London is an epic of disrespect for the Nigerian citizen. Apart from the original grand deception (for which the President deserves impeachment as far as I am concerned), every aspect of the trip has been handled as if the dissemination of information to Nigerian citizens were a privilege.

Lai Mohammed – bless his soul! – even opined that the President is a victim of his own forthrightness. Translation Nigeriana: it is not you people’s fault that you feel entitled to information about the President. Shebi it is the President himself who on reaching London initially let you know that he is seeing his doctors. Na una fault?

When Lai Mohammed and Femi Adesina are in a mode so contemptuous of citizens and they enjoy a drumbeat of support from a large fragment of their victims, how does one even begin to teach such citizens that they are owed daily press briefings on the President’s condition by the Presidency? How does one teach such people that they are owed regular briefings by President Buhari’s Nigerian doctors who would have conferred and coordinated things with his medical team in London before holding such briefings in Abuja? The citizen is entitled to these things. It is not a privilege.

R stands for more than respect. R also stands for resignation whenever you understand that you are no longer in the position to carry out the solemn responsibilities of any office, especially the highest office in the land.

In Nigeria, resignation from office is a taboo word. Mention resignation and the supporters, political, religious, and ethnic “owners” of the concerned public official enter into a demented public orgy, screaming and foaming. A Nigerian can pardon rape. A Nigerian can pardon genocide. A Nigerian will never pardon you if you so much as hint the resignation from office of a politician he supports.

One of the many untenable reasons he is going to mobilize against resignation is – you guessed right – the need to respect the office in question. This is why we need more diligent workers in the national civics enterprise. We need to decriminalize resignation in the national imaginary of our people. The idea that it is unthinkable for my man to resign from office gave us Yar’Adua. It gave us Danbaba Suntai in Taraba.

I am not saying that President Buhari is anywhere near these circumstances. However, there are 180 million lives at stake. Those lives do not live in Femi Adesina’s alternative universe of milk and honey all over Nigeria. A state is always more important than any single citizen and that includes the President. One month away, poorly handled, is enough ground for resignation especially if there is no telling how exactly you would be able to handle compound problems on your return: the economy, insecurity, Fulani herdsmen, etc.

Resignation is not leprosy. Resignation is not a crime. In certain cases, it is a moral obligation, an ethical one. Where there is a conscience, it is a decision to be taken in loneliness, away from heehawing opportunists capable of convincing Sigidi that he can swim successfully across the river Niger. Sometimes, resignation is the only way to respect one’s country and one’s compatriots. Sometimes, resignation is the only way to enter history in a grand fashion.

President Buhari, take a measure of your conscience. If you know that even in the best of health, you are overwhelmed, go ahead and resign without listening to the fawning voices around you. Many of your overwhelmed predecessors had a chance to resign. None did because they were admired into perdition and ignominy.

The other day, I heard Femi Adesina saying that it’s still early days for you. You are just in year two of a four-year tenure and you have two more years to deliver miracle. Silly talk like this is what I call admiring one’s boss to perdition and ignominy. Sadly, the majority of your support base speaks like this. That is not how it works. You don’t really have any time left.

Perhaps many in your support base cannot tolerate the idea of your resignation because they fear the chest-beating reaction of the Lilliputian promoters of the corrupt era of your immediate predecessor who are still prosecuting the 2015 election. That is why they can’t even criticize you for not only not prosecuting the anti-corruption war properly but for also harboring your own clan of corrupt aides and associates. That is a shame because it puts such people in your support base in the same infantilist and puny partisan boat as the promoters of the last order.

Anybody who sees Nigeria above such clowning partisan pettiness should be able to give you the advice I have offered you here: respect your office by resigning if you know you can’t go on.

Authority Stealing and The Legacy of Fela, By Muhammad Al- Ghazali

Even for millions of hapless Nigerians already accustomed to frequent reports of alleged pilfering of billions of dollars and Naira from our three tiers of government, this particular discovery was still mind-boggling in many respects.

First, while all the previous reports were beginning to appear like mere fables – since almost all the accused principles have continued to plead their innocence and with hardly any major conviction since the advent of President’s corrective administration – the case involving the former Group Managing Director of the NNPC, Andrew Yakubu, provided only the second solid evidence of the unprecedented looting perpetrated in the life of the previous administration after those involving some retired Air Force Generals who hid their heists in their sewages. This discovery literary provided the ever inquisitive Nigerians with graphic proof of the loot literally in the ‘flesh’!

Second, we can be assured that for generations to come, Nigerians will never grow tired of talking about the criminal ingenuity in the choice of location for the hidden loot. Yakubu chose to hide a total of  $9.7million and  £74,000 along with a few thousands more in Euros, in the most unexpected place imaginable, and, in the process, made the likes of the late Colombian drug lord Pablo Escobar, and his Mexican reincarnation Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzman, with the expensive tunnels they constructed, seem like amateurs.

Yakubu made even Ali-Baba and his Forty Thieves appear like novices because the cave in which they chose to hide their own loot was in a mountain deep in the wilderness, and the entrance also required a password.

Sabon Tasha, the massive slum on the outskirts of the expansive Kaduna metropolis, is the sort of location you expected the poorest among the poor to inhibit. It is, also, sadly, the sort of location preferred by hardened criminals and cutthroats. It is certainly not where you expected to find a fortune except if it was to retrieve a ransom paid to rescue victims of the city’s frequent kidnappings.

I should know. My cousin was a recent victim. That Yakubu chose the exact precinct to hide the cash is instructive. It showed that while he may have been trained and certified as an excellent engineer, he also, undoubtedly, possessed the mind-set of the topmost Mafioso.

Ordinarily, assuming that Nigerians are still capable of experiencing shock, the news that the case is before our judiciary should be comforting to many, but the reality of the ‘system’ suggests that it is also the beginning of their worries.

Few high profile corruption cases have ever been prosecuted to their logical conclusion in Nigeria. And, in almost all instances, the victims have always managed to get-off with light sentences that made a mockery of their crimes while they still retained the proceeds from their loot. With such antecedents, it is perhaps not surprising that some high profile Federal Judges were recently indicted for corruption.

In a curious twist of fate, the Nigerian Judicial system has somewhat found a way to bastardise the plea-bargaining system the Americans used to break the Mafia’s “Code of silence” and essentially brought the criminal fraternity to its knees.  The plea-bargaining system should not be an end to itself, but a means to an end! It is often the light concession granted by the state in the judicial context to get at the bigger crooks whose criminal activities imperilled the collective.

Regrettably, in Nigeria, the system has allowed indicted looters of the public treasury to escape the sort of justice they deserve especially in the life of the previous administrations. In the process, an unfortunate impression was created to feed the growing belief that in Nigeria, justice is not only for hire, it exists only to punish the poor and the weakest segments of our social spectrum.

Already, there are reports that Yakubu has filed for the return of his cash. He has asked the court to set aside the forfeiture order that granted FG ownership of the money.  Specifically, he wants the court to set aside the order and return the $9,772,800 and £74,000,000 which he said belongs to him insisting that the court lacked the jurisdiction to grant FG ownership of his money. And, quite incredibly, he still wants the court to accept that the money was gift.

In the meantime, a shadowy group that claims to represent professionals from Southern Kaduna has also faulted his arrest and demanded for his release. They inferred that their brother was the victim of a witch-hunt.  While we await to see the outcome of the protracted court case that will follow, it becomes inevitable to recall legacy and some of the enduring legacies of the late Fela Anikulapo Kuti. Some Nigerians may find issues with the way he chose to live his life, but we can only ignore his legacy at our collective peril.

The late Fela Anikulapo Kuti was not only a musician of universal repute purely on the originality of the Afro beat genre he singlehandedly created. Although he seemed like a reluctant rebel to many, Fela was also a social crusader and seer rolled into. He could have chosen to enjoy the trappings his upper middle-class upbringing provided but preferred to be uniquely different from the social trajectory of his siblings.

In the song “Authority Stealing”, which he wrote and sang nearly thirty years ago, Fela lamented the prevalence of big time robbers in the highest echelon of the Nigerian society. Against the squalor and misery of what he believed to be the pathetic state of the Nigerian social infrastructure at the time; Fela believed the big thieves ensconced in the plush boardrooms of our corporate entities represented the greatest danger to our quest for rapid development, because, they not only stole with relish in the comfort of their offices, but also with the stroke of their pens!

 

And in the damming lyrics he composed to conclude the song, he shamed a society which preferred to lynch its poorest for the barest malfeasance while allowing the biggest thieves that thrived in the corridors of power to escape justice unscathed. Fela, is not alive today, but only God knows that king of songs he could have composed in his reaction to alarming decay and degree of corruption experienced in the polity since his demise.

 

Everywhere we dare to look today, Fela’s legacy is so evident in the numerous songs on social justice he bequeathed for posterity and their poignant lessons. The songs are not only befitting reminders of his greatness as an artist, but also reasons for sober reflection for both our leaders and the led.

Fela’s songs provide a befitting metaphor for deeper introspection on how the social ills and endemic corruption, and its twin evil of under-development he warned about succeeded in reducing a once promising nation to an importer of garri from India like someone alleged in my WhatsApp Forum at the weekend.

While he is surely entitled to his day before the law, Andrew Yakubu, and all the other felons in the same category should thank their stars that they have been spared the wrath of Fela’s court because the great musician is no longer with us. But his songs, and the lessons they impacted, have ensued that his legacy will endure.

 

 

41st Memorial: Open Letter To General Murtala Muhammed

By Abduljalal Danbaba

General, it has been 41 years since you departed us, but the indelible mark your leadership commitment made in our hearts since then as young people and admirers would continue to be cherished. Your determination and undoubting courage remained a source of inspiration to patriotic Nigerians. While my endless prayer for Allah’s Mercy for you in particular and other good leaders shall never cease till I join you sooner or later, it’s with heavy heart that I intimate you with the developments in our Fatherland. Since your Shahada on Friday, the 13th February, 1976, by then I was just in primary 5 but could catch the glimpse of all the happenings on that day, through the FRCN Kaduna. From then, up to the time of my University education, I have been active participant in the memorial club (Murtala Muhammed Memorial Club, ABU, Zaria) named after you, in appreciation of your Leadership qualities, I had never relent in extolling your qualities as a model.

The Nigeria you left behind is now 57 years old since political independence and now under democratic rule. You set the first transition time table, but Allah did not spear your life to implement. Your successor, Chief Olusegun Obasanjo fulfilled your promise and handed over power to democratically elected government in 1979 to President Shehu Shagari. His government scuttled the same election process that brought it into power with massive rigging that threatened the continuity of democratic process of governance. The government of Shehu Shagari could not go beyond the first quarter of its second term in office when the military intervened again.

After the first attempt in the second republic, with some military interjections, narrow escapes and Allah’s interventions, we are now 17 years old into consistent democratic governance; but I must tell you that the Nigeria of your dream has not yet been realized. Surprisingly perhaps, one of your compatriots (Muhammadu Buhari) who served in your government as Military Governor of the defunct North Eastern State (now Borno, Yobe, Adamawa, Bauchi, Gombe and Taraba) is now our President, thanks to the card reader and wind of Change. He had served as Military Head of State 33 years ago, but lasted only 20 months before another disciple of yours took over for a rough ride that lasted 8 years which finally culminated into another aborted and failed transition to democracy. It was in this confusion that your good friend Chief M.K.O Abiola in an attempt to perhaps realize his democratic dreams lost his life.

Oh! I forgot to inform you that the 19 States you left behind have increased to 21, to 29 and finally to 36. But Sir, up to today no single State was created through democratic process, but all by the military. The new federal capital had finally moved to Abuja, though not the Abuja of your vision where the have-nots have been virtually excluded from the plan because of capitalist materialism that you never planed the country on. The middle and lower class public servants have been expelled from the plan and had to find alternative from the outskirts of Abuja for settlement.

Your Excellency (though you abolish the use of such designation with immediate effect), your unalloyed commitment to Africa has yielded results at different countries and happy to inform you that apartheid regime in South Africa has finally been put to rest. South Africa and other frontline States have been freed from the shackles of colonialism and apartheid; Angola where the Nigerian government supported the MPLA liberation movement at that time have established government in Angola and the only thorny in their political flesh, Jonah Savimbi has been taken care of for peace to reign in Angola.

At the home front, the degree of success you were able to achieve in 6 months of your short-lived administration was like a dream. The transition programme you set was realistic and achievable, and had been achieved; the 1979 Constitution drafting was achieved and even ushered in the second republic. The Justice Akinola Aguda Panel report was implemented and the FCT Abuja is now where the power brokers leave make and mar the constitutional provisions.

The constitutional democracy (American democracy) we finally adopted as our system of government appeared too expensive to manage, particularly when you consider the quantum of personnel and resources involved. As you were aware, the three tiers of government: Federal, States and Local Governments still exist, but the States are now 36 and one FCT, 774 Local Governments. At the federal level, we have bicameral legislators of 109 Senators, 360 members of the House of Representatives, cabinet Ministers and almost uncountable number of agencies and parastatals, etc, etc. At States level, with legislators of not less than 20 members, commissioners and many parastatals and agencies. Local Government Chairmen and their Councilors are already side pockets of many States Governments. So much is being spent on government with too little governance to show. The official vehicles, supportive staff, domestic servants, constituency this and that, I am beginning to have a second thought about this system of demo-crazy.

Your Excellency, let me not bother you with too many negative news, surely there are some positive developments in our country since your departure. The population of our country has multiplied, now about 180 million; as one time Federal Commissioner of Communication, I am glad to inform you that we have made remarkable progress in the area of communication, perhaps more than any other sector. The arrival of GSM has eased the communication sector up to grassroots and affordable to almost all class of Nigerians. However, the basic infrastructure for the survival of such development like electricity has bedeviled our country since after the Electrical Company of Nigeria (ECN), followed by NEPA, then PHCN and now fragmented into generation, transmission and distribution, but the end has not yet justified the means.

The Nigeria Airways is now history, yet more airports were built, less aircrafts and less number of Nigerians that can afford to travel by air. The airports are only maximally utilized during the Hajj airlift of pilgrims, and when our flamboyant governors crisscross the country with chartered aircrafts. The level of destruction and primitive accumulation of wealth makes one to doubt the mental stability of some politicians and Nigerians in public offices. The most devastating and heart breaking is the corruption in the Judiciary, the camel back has finally been broken and the last line of defense penetrated and commercialized. The heart is ill; therefore the body cannot function properly.

Sir, before my next letter in 2018 inshaAllah, I wish to close my letter on an encouraging note that with the recent Change, after 2015 general elections, we are seeing the glimpse of light at the end of the tunnel. Your fellow compatriot (Col. Muhammadu Buhari, now President) in spite of age is doing his best to get the country out of these crises, and to face the reality of building a nation of your dream devoid stealing and waste. He was one of the very few of your remaining compatriots that maintained his perpendicular integrity and unalloyed love and commitment for his country. He almost suffered similar fate of being assassinated like you, this time through a bomb blast, but he survived it and he is still on. Those who are so much in a hurry and care to know should know that the secret and divine tenancy of years, months, days, hours, minutes and seconds of any man on earth must be attained. May your courageous soul continue to rest in perfect peace, Ameen.

Dr. Danbaba wrote this piece from Zaria, Kaduna State

 

In Memory of Things To Come, By Tatalo Alamu

A Political Primer of Kleptocracy in Nigeria

“History repeats itself, first as tragedy, second as farce.” Like many of his pained compatriots, Sonala Olumhense, one of Nigeria’s most committed and politically engaged literary notables, would have nodded in warm approval of Karl Marx’s famous dictum.

If a nation insists on going round in circles, history must repeat itself. Just as it happened the first time around and despite its equally enviable strides in many departments, particularly fiscal discipline and relative public sanity, a fundamental failure of politics is beginning to haunt the second coming of the iron general from Daura. There is an eerie and chilling feeling of Déjà vu in the air.

If history teaches us anything at all, it is that it doesn’t teach the Nigerian political class anything. Towards the end of 1984, Stanley Macebuh, unarguably one of the greatest public communicators that Nigeria has produced, published one of his finely honed, elegantly cadenced pieces urging the then Buhari administration to level up with fellow Nigerians in order to avoid a rupture of affection.

Titled, Barricade At Dodan Barracks—or something close to that, it was a passionate plea for the open society against the military instincts of habitual secrecy and lack of transparency in the conduct of public affairs. Months earlier, this columnist had written a piece countermanding a purported military ban on seminars by the Buhari administration, insisting that he was heading for the next available seminar. It was titled, A Seminar to end all Seminars.

Matters are coming to a dangerous head once again. This past week, Sonala Olumhense took the Buhari administration to the cleaners in a well-syndicated piece. Apocalyptically titled The End of Buhari, and the APC, it was a blistering Philippic rumbling with bile and rage against General Buhari and his acolytes.

This is political divorce, Nigerian style: messy and traumatic. It is a hostile and implacable putdown, bristling with invectives and mournful brio. A former ardent fan of the regime, it is obvious that the Edo-born writer is bitterly disappointed with an administration that rode to power on the cusp of huge public approval and general goodwill.

Let the truth now be told. The government will be deceiving itself if it thinks that Sonala is in the minority. There are thousands of affronted patriots who feel exactly the same way as Sonala, disappointed by the pace and paucity of achievement of a government they have supported against all odds. But this is the time to put on our thinking caps once again. There are many out there who still root for the Buhari regime and its glum regimen if only for its determined bid to rid Nigeria of economic leeches no matter how awkward and inconsistent this may appear.

Sonala writes with severity and caustic candour, which recalls Karl Marx himself at his most savagely contemptuous. One can imagine the great German philosopher writing about the historical and sociological aberration called Nigeria with his face contorted with rage and a bitterly ironic grimace.

But there are many close enough to the ringside and unfolding events to sense that what lies beyond the hazy horizon is an even messier and more sinister meltdown, if the situation is not handled with the caution and the statesmanlike clarity it deserves. With weak state institutions and a weaker civil society, the coming Black Spring in Nigeria may eventuate in renewed civilian dictatorship as we have seen in Egypt and Tunisia or anarchic chaos and the reign of warlords as it is the current lot of post-Ghaddafi Libya.

In many parts of the nation, our youths are already on the streets and the poor are bitterly and hungrily awake. Demography and number are now with them.Yet in Nigeria it is not only with political history that events repeat themselves. They do so with political letters too. In Nigeria, politics and fiction are Siamese twins conjoined and shadowing each other.

In 2005, snooper wrote a piece in which he foresaw a fancifully attired DSP Alamieyeseigha slipping his captors’ mooring in England and arriving in his parlous and deprived state capital to a heroic and tumultuous welcome. The ink had hardly dried when futuristic fiction became immediate and compelling reality. Lo, the rogue former Squadron Leader had actually arrived in Yenagoa to wild applause.

Last week, it was the turn of another Niger Delta political warlord: James Ibori. The crowd of native well-wishers was in an even more festive and adulating mood. The boyish-looking but famously deadly political master of the creeks could not have chosen a more poignant and devastating entrée. It was a time General Buhari’s anti-corruption crusade appeared stalled and demobilized with critical question marks put on its probity, impartiality and integrity.

Five years ago as the Ibori political saga unfolded, this column wrote a piece titled Escobar comes to Escavos. We republish the piece this morning before coming to grips with kleptocracy in Nigeria and the inevitable Nubian Spring.

Crime Scenes By Pius Adesanmi

Nigeria is a crime scene that nobody remembers. The young man says his uncle is in charge of some forthcoming lecture in Lagos in July or thereabouts and is seeking my permission to suggest my name to his uncle as the guest lecturer.

Somewhere in the chit-chat, he drops a little detail. They are even thinking of approaching Senator Andy Uba to attend the event. They have not approached him but they plan to do so. Why he thought that mentioning Andy Uba would raise the profile of the lecture he is selling in my estimation is beyond me but I can make some guesses: Andy Uba is a crime scene he has forgotten.

Now, this is an upright young man. I approve of him and consider him one of the folks I am privileged to mentor in the hope that there just may be enough Nigerians in his generation to pick up the pieces and rescue the doomed nation.

The trouble with Nigeria is that she is a crime scene that is always forgotten because every generation is removed by time and age from the said crime scene. You are either too young to be conscious of the crime scene or as you grow older, the crime scene recedes in your memory and you don’t remember.

The dilemma of the crime scene is the reason why the young man mentioned Andy Uba to me so approvingly. Today, he is scandalized by Abba Kyari’s corruption and is a member of the social media army that has been pillorying President Buhari for turning a blind eye to that matter.

Without doubt, he would have the same attitude towards Andy Uba if he knew that there is a direct line of Villa corruption succession from Andy Uba to Abba Kyari via Tanimu Yakubu and the late Oronto Douglas.

My young mentee was approaching his teenage years during the Obasanjo years. Too young to have had any consciousness of the Obasanjo crime scene. Today, he is old enough to know but we do not do history and memory in Nigeria. So, all he is aware of is the crime scene of Abba Kyari. He is unaware of the road to Abba Kyari.

He does not know that Andy Uba is the beginning of that road in our Fourth Republic. It was with Andy Uba that the practice of a super-corrupt, hyper-powerful domestic Villa aide started in the short history of the Fourth Republic. The practice of converting a particular aide to a Presidential majordomo started with Andy Uba.

While he was busy falsifying his educational qualifications somewhere between Canada and America, Obasanjo found him and turned him to the dominant Villa chihuahua of the day. It was said that he would sometimes be in the toilet taking notes and receiving instructions while Obasanjo pooed and he dared not cover his nose.

In fact, the rise of Andy Uba as Obasanjo’s chief domestic corruption poodle put paid to Femi Fani-Kayode’s courageous struggle to occupy that position – a position he might have been able to occupy in a second Jonathan term absent Oronto Douglas.

Andy Uba carried the day and became the personal supervisor of Obasanjo’s corruption rackets – including using the Presidential jet to ferry looted cash to America ostensibly to buy tractors for Obasanjo farms.

The paradigm that was set for Andy Uba by Obasanjo would guide the Yar’Adua/Tanimu Yakubu dynamic, the Jonathan/Oronto Douglas dynamic, and now the Buhari/Abba Kyari dynamic.

The Buhari/Abba Kyari crime scene is enabled mainly by the fact that we have forgotten all the previous crime scenes preceding it.

This problem with memory and history is why it is perfectly possible for a bright young chap who resents corruption to condemn Abba Kyari and speak approvingly of his ancestor, Andy Uba. All he knows now is that Andy Uba is a Senator of the Federal Republic. He does not know that Andy Uba is a crook plenipotentiary.

Forgotten crime scenes enable crime scenes of the moment by giving the insurance of time cleansing to the current actors. Just as there is a generation of Nigerians who are unaware of Andy Uba’s antecedents, the Buhari/Abba Kyari crime scene of today understands perfectly what the future holds for it if it stays the course. Ten years from now, perhaps there will be a Governor or a Senator Abba Kyari being cited approvingly by Nigerians in their early 20s.

Don’t forget that Andy Uba is now even a respected member of President Buhari’s APC.

In Delta, Okowa will fete returnee criminal, James Ibori, in a church service because a previous crime scene in Nigerian Christendom – criminal Bode George being feted in a Christian church upon his return from prison – has been forgotten.

Did Bode George do thanksgiving?

I’m not sure. I’ve forgotten.