Women Are Their Own Enemies By Bamidele Ademola-Olateju

Since childhood, I have always wondered why women are not as powerful as men. I found the answer in graduate business school while taking the Organizational Behavior class. I discovered women build power from the top and men build power from the bottom. I also found out, women do not erect foundations. Actually the word foundation, as it relates to power and influence is strange to them.

I found another example this morning in this picture of Zainab Otiti, Ooni’s ex-wife posted on Iyen Na Nice wall. Women descended on her. They called her names and threw invectives on her person. For what? For failing in marriages? Has she killed anyone or stolen their money? Her past may not exactly be rosy. We all make mistakes. We all have dark things we did, that we regret. Some of us are lucky and smart enough to have made rewarding and approved choices in our youth. But I testify that life cards are different. Good people often draw bad cards. Either due to their actions, inactions, circumstances that are unforseen or plain life curve balls. I find it indecent and arrogant to judge people on their failures. For all I know, those holier than thou women may be marital rejects and failures themselves! Even if they are in successful marriages, what right have they to judge her on her failed marriage(s)? Ironically, most women who berate divorcees and unmarried women are in stony, no joy marriages where they keep a brave face or become prayer warriors. Nonsense! I am so incensed and angry. Do people want her to die because her marriage failed?

I have always known that girls can be mean to other girls, but it is absolutely pathetic when adult women compete to destroy another. Most often, women do not succeed because the undercurrents of meanness and negativity from women are just too much! It is in the open that women suffer serious, life-altering knocks in the hands of other women. If you find a woman ill at ease in her marriage, it is either her sister-inlaw or female cousins of her husband, behind her predicament. The horrible rituals meted to widows and deprivations they go through are often spearheaded by women. Why?

I am yet to understand what drives the Ilubirin intense woman to woman incivility that is as insidious, as it is gratuitous. These women self-hating acts are the reasons why I often wager that women will never be as powerful as men in a thousand years no matter how empowered they become because of the innate jealousy and competition baked in the X-Chromosome. Each time I encounter these intra-female meanness online or offline, I see a common denominator. The social battles are often fought by the very same women engaged in rabid feminism and girl power.

Each time I think of women and how they bring each other down like crabs, the words of Sigmund Freud rings true; what does a woman want? It is a shame that women are designers of their own unhappiness, through schadenfreude and horizontal hostility. If you don’t want drama as a woman, belong to the Sisterhood of the boys. Bite me oh!

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