The most insulting part of the proposition to write the biography of Ali Modu Sheriff is that he who came inbox to solicit me praised my “depth” and “intellectual prowess”.

I am not a citizen of Twitter. I am a mere tenant with a one-bedroom apartment on Twitter. Whenever I go there, I check my inbox because there are usually messages, languishing messages.

Because of your depth and intellectual prowess, we need you to write the biography of Ali Modu Sherriff. He is not paying for it. We are paying for it. Name your price. Give us a quote. Then this:

“Sir, I honestly think you should respond to me on the issue of writing of the biography.”

No. I will not respond to you.

I don’t know what is wrong with Nigeria. Next, I will be propositioned with money to write the biographies of Dino Melaye and James Ibori.

The sad part is this: this intellect, this depth that you feel blessed and privileged to be able to deploy in the service of your people as your own humble contribution to the urgent, fundamental, and monumental task of national illumination and Enlightenment, somebody looks at it all and sees a commercial product with a price!

Hagiography with a price – that is the only use that many see for the intellect in our society. How can we make progress? If one idiot in the Presidency is not manufacturing lies against you that you wanted to write Buhari’s biography, others with more money than sense will actually proposition you to write about the rapists of our people.

If I feel sufficiently enamoured to write a biography:

I will write about Bala Usman
I will write about Pius Okigbo
I will write about Eskor Toyo
I will write about Funmilayo Ransome-Kuti
I will write about Ayodele Awojobi
I will write about Tai Solarin

I will write about sheroes and heroes whose lives and work have cemented their names as our worthy ancestors. I will write about those I can hold up for millennials and future generations as role models and illuminators.

I will not be solicited. I will not be paid. I can undertake such a project and pitch it with reputable publishers.

Nigeria is an unthought, unreflected chaos. Every intellect that has been summoned and is ready to submit to the duty of contributing thought and reflection to that project should not be seen as a potential washman of useless egos.

Ali Modu Sheriff ke?

Now I need to take a shower!